Do you spank your child/children?

[berriesweetest]

i'll jump in, i gues...we were spanked as kids. but only when we really deserved it. my dad had this belt that he made us walk to get ourselves. the walk was the slowest and most dreadful thing ever. and it was, in fact, worse than the 2 swats we'd get on our bottoms.
Will i spank my daughter? yes. Do i believe it will benefit her? yes. will i enjoy it? no. do i know that others will disgree with me? of course. but like everyone has said, this is one of those things, like religion and politics, that everyone has their own stand on.

[michellew]

What you say does make sense to me in that I agree that regardless of what discipline tactic you use, you should take time to explain to them about their behavior and the reprecussions of their actions.
As far as me saying I felt out of control, I should probably clarify. For me, the few times I used spanking as discipline, it was a total last resort. I had tried different things with no success. I could feel myself getting more and more upset, and used spanking as a "last ditch" effort, hoping it would work. It did not and I just ended up feeling miserable and like I personally had 'lost control' of the situation, and of myself (because I didn't really want to spank in the first place).
Does that make more sense?

this is very interesting.. many mothers feel that spanking is a means of being out-of control, but it is not, taking time to explain to your children the conquences of your actions, and the reperquisions(sorry for the spelling,its late) are of the highest respect. if you just"went off" on a ramage it is another thing, out of control, but taking the time to explain the reason behind it is parenting at its best. because you love them and only want the best for them. there has to conquences for actions, it teaches self- maturity, and growth for adulthood, can't have my children blaming me for reasons why thier life not turning out for them, i do what is expected of me, but ultimately, they are responsible, for what they make out of life, i can trian them for life, but what they do with my parenting up bringing is up to them, you can prepare them, but you cannot life thier life. does that make sense?? comments??

[Candid Carrie]

I was spanked but I think it what happened to me as a kid happened today, it would be called abuse.  I was hit with a stick.  A big ol' thick stick.  And it was kept on a ledge above a door way.  And I had to get it myself.  Which meant pulling a chair from the dining room table and dragging it over to the buffet.  Balancing on the buffet with one foot while reaching for the top of the door frame.  One end of the stick had my name on it and the other end of the stick had my sister's name on it.  Bare butt spankings and then he would finish my spanking and say that he used the wrong end of the stick and start all over again. 

Hell on earth, I can relate to that being the longest walk in the history of the world, almost as though time stood still. 

I am against spanking.  I am extremely against bargaining.  Totally against negotiating.  I avoid the entire punishment scene whatsoever by having very clear rules that have been well thought out in advance.  I don't ask them to pick up the mess they made, I tell them they need to pick it up now.  And they do.  I don't do the announcement every fifteen minutes by telling them they will be done in ten more minutes.  When I say it is time to clean up, it is time to clean up.  The end.  And they do.  And I have gotten my share of some of the world's crappiest behavied kids through my revolving door of foster children and the clear cut rules in advance and the clear consequences make a huge difference. 

If my peeps are screwing around while we are getting ready to go out for dinner as a family and I tell them they need to settle down immediately or we will not be going ... guess what? If they don't settle down we really don't go out for dinner.  For real.  I don't care how bad I really wanted to go out for dinner.  But, the next time I tell kids they had better settle down or we aren't going out for dinner?  Oh yeah, the settle down. 

Sorry for the rambling here.  I work very hard to be pro-active as a parent and not re-active.  It is a ton of work and I have no idea how working mothers manage their broods successfully.  Just my thoughts outloud (kind of). 

[Danielle]

michelle, i feel you, i use it as a last resort too, telling them over and over, and when they dont do it, or keep doing it, thats it!! you have to have a spanking, my mom spanked me for everything!!! i am trying to go the oppsite direction becasue i got spanked for everything, but my mom's parenting skills and efforts are in me rather i like it or not, believe me i have a LOT of patience but when i have had enough, there are spankings.. comments? and they are not that hard.LOL had to add so humor.. hey, we are parents..not prefection right?? by the way, I LOVE MY KIDS!!

[berriesweetest]

carrie, what you said makes sense, too. lots of it.
i plan to have real rules, like you. no fooling around. and although i grew up with it, i'm not looking forward to spanking. especially since buttercup has slapped my hand after i slapped hers once.  it was really a tap, but she doesn;t know the difference. so i'd rather try to handle things differently,.

[Danielle]

no one looks"forward" to spanking, if we did, then there would be something seriously wrong with us.. i remember something my mom use to tell us right before she spanked us..."this hurts me more than it hurts you" and i thought, yea right!! but she was right, it hurts my soul soo much to spank my children, it kills me to see the dread and look in thier eyes, but i love my children enough to let them see the errors they have made, and to make them know that they have to be punished.. i will not have them disrepected me, my efforts of parenting, because if we do not get control of the situations of discipline now, they will become unmanigiable, and that leads to self-destructive behaviour.. they must learn that life is not so perfect... and i have said it before, we cannot accept resonsablity for thier actions, they have to learn that its not my parents fault, they have minds of thier own, they must learn to think for themsleves, and that i was there to guide them in the "right" direction, but it is ultimely up to them with path they choose in life...comments

[k.rodriguez]

My question is, is it absolutely necessary?  There are many children who turn out to be just fine without having been spanked when they were children.  And, children who were spanked have turned out fine also.  So, I think it's a just a personal preference.

[michellew]

My answer would be no. There is no way that it is absolutely necessary to spank a child. Every instance, every child, and every situation are different, but there are children who will in fact, react with the opposite effect by being spanked, and act out even more.

My question is, is it absolutely necessary?  There are many children who turn out to be just fine without having been spanked when they were children.  And, children who were spanked have turned out fine also.  So, I think it's a just a personal preference.

[emsplace]

I think it is a very important question. When you look at our society as a whole, I think some parents need spankings too for what they allow their children to do in public. lol Family spanking... sorry.
anyway... I think a well placed, well warned, well explained pop or two goes a long way towards adjusting attitudes. No parent likes to spank. But some children, perhaps all, could use a well placed pop to make them think about what they are doing...
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer... it is definitely personal preference. BUT I do think in a world where parents can be arrested (for heaven's sake) for spanking a child... we need to insist that things like that not happen. There is a big difference between abuse & a spanking.... IMHO!